Wednesday, April 25, 2007


Amongst all the other things I have to do, GDR occupies some valuable time. I have four teams this year including Channeling Theo from the Ruth Champions conference. The addition of the fourth team (last year I swore three was one too many) has given me a 33% increase in Confliction Attacks. What are confliction attacks??? C'mon, you have had them you just didn't know what to call them. Let me give you the symptoms.

The most common form of Confliction Attack, is when your real team and your fantasy team are at odds. Let me give you a painful example. I am a die hard Red Sox fan from before birth (or so I am told). Therefore, when I checkout my fantasy teams progress against my weekly opponent on a bright and cheery Sunday morning only to realize that the slim margin of victory that I amncurrently hold is in grave danger because my opponent has Curt Schilling and Schilling is pitching that afternoon. ARRRRggghhhhhh! Confliction! My brain is telling me that I need Schilling to get hammered in order to win the weekly fantasy contest, but my heart and soul are pulling for Schill to put another game between "us" and the dreaded Evil Empire. That my friends is a confliction attack. You can expect shortness of breath, profuse sweating, sudden and inexplicable twitching, etc. The bad news is that once you are conflicted, their is no cure. You just have to bite the bullet and see it through. It is important to note that the reverse is true. If you happen to have Cubs on your roster and you are a dyed in the wool Redbirds fan, then it is extraordinarily painful to celebrate a Ramirez 4 for 4 at the same time he stuck it to the Cards.

The other form of confliction is between fantasy teams. Specifically, your own. I need Schilling to fail so I can win this match-up in this league, but one of my other teams needs him to go 9 innings, giving up only a run while striking out 10 so I can take that contest. Hopelessly conflicted. The only way to avoid this is to draft and sign the same players on every team. In addition to being practically impossible, it would also be pretty boring and defeat the purpose of owning multiple teams.

So if you are struggling with ever increasing confliction attacks, look on the bright side. If you were a Nationals fan, you would be confliction free because there are no Nats players on any fantasy teams. Me? I'll deal with the confliction attacks and enjoy the Red Sox second WS championship in four years.

1 comment:

Brian said...

Good read. I know exactly what you are talking about. Although, as an A's fan looking at both the Red Sox and the Yankees, you're pretty much both evil empires. I can no longer see the line separating the Bo Sox and the Yanks. Two teams who buy whomever they need/want. The luster of rooting for the Sox has vanished. Very sad.

Although Manny is still priceless. Gotta love that throw the other day from LF straight into the ground.